Recently, a woman was shocked to hear that I don't really cook and I've never made fried chicken. Her next question was "do you have a boyfriend?" and when I responded with, "not at the moment" she remarked, " You don't cook -that's why you don't." Awe, sexism at its cutest.
Eating and preparing food has become increasingly fast and fleeting, which makes many people furious. They long for the time when people (specifically women) had 6 hours to cook a gorgeous gourmet meal for their families every night and relished in the ritual of making a home cooked dinner...
Interestingly, many of the people longing for those days are twenty somethings who've never nurtured anything except a truly amazing succulent plant. However, they'll go to great pains to know where their food comes from, spend hours searching online for the perfect vegan-paleo-chocolate cake recipe and spend Sundays doing meal-prep. How quaint.
Then, there's the rest of us. The "NO cooking" types. We are a dying breed -- the millennials who don't particularly care how our coffee was brewed or whether our kale received a deep-tissue massage. For me, the worst part of cooking is the intense preparation time that goes into it.
If I am hungry, I am hungry...I simply don't have the patience to troll the internet for the perfect recipe then chop stuff for an hour and sit around waiting for it to simmer perfectly. Umm, hellooo I have auditions, work, acting class, shows, parties and drinks to get to! I can't imagine being a mother...you have to be/feed yourself AND fend for your young! Meanwhile, the other day I was changing from an audition outfit into work attire in my car while parked on a residential street in Burbank. Mid-changing, I had to duck down under the steering wheel to hide my exposed boobs from a father and his baby out on an afternoon stroll...clearly I am not ready to flambé Bananas Foster or sauté a steak.
Don't get me wrong, though. I have enormous respect for those of you who diligently cook each night or consider yourself foodies. I LOVE food, and (for someone who so rarely cooks) I know quite a lot about it through my years of being fed by the elders Francke. But now they have left me to grow the hell up and fend for myself...and I've determined the following to be true:
People like me just wanna eat something that's relatively healthy and pretty cheap...and we want to eat it IMMEDIATELY.
So, what's the solution? Why, it's the 99 Cents Only store!!
I bet you already knew they are a haven for halloween candy enthusiasts and dudes who want to buy really cheap knives...but did you know they also sell groceries? Eggs, fruit, veg and meat and cheese...you name it, they've got it! AND EACH ITEM IS 99 CENTS. I bought a dozen eggs there for $0.99 the other day.
It is truly a modern day miracle. The 99 Cents Only Store validates me and my feelings. It understands that I am on a budget, but I don't want to have to do anything more than press "Time Cook" "1:50" and "Start" on the microwave, in that order. I have been shopping there for four weeks now. I have not died. Conclusion: I am not above it. You are not above it.
Why did I write this, you ask? Well, beyond wanting to do a PSA for the 99 Cents Only Store (and show off that pic of my loot) the aforementioned woman's remarks got me thinking and I felt like using this opportunity to be open about my lack of joyful cooking experiences during this time in life when I feel like I'm surrounded by wannabe Gordon Ramsey's and Ina Garten's. Maybe one day I'll change, or maybe one day I won't...but somehow, I think my life will continue to feel fulfilled and happy no matter the outcome. Maaaybe.
Beyond that, I hope this stupid lil post resonates with some of you, and we can form a club where we encourage each other to raise our "Eww, cooking!" flags high and go on weekly sprees at my new fave store!